I've been thinking a lot lately about the past year. It seems so much has happened, when in reality nothing has happened. Last Saturday marked 1 year since I miscarried. I can't believe it has been a year already, it feels like no time has passed at all. I still remember everything so vividly. I wish we were starting another cycle sooner, I feel ready now.But January will be here before I know it, and I'm sure then I'll be saying the exact opposite!
When I look back, I remember how desperate I was back then. I needed to be pregnant again, and I really couldn't see how I would ever be ok again. I was so angry, at pregnant women, at my husband, at everyone. I felt I needed a baby to validate my life, that it was nothing but empty and pointless. I haven't really done anything in particular to actively change anything, I guess time really is a healer. Don't get me wrong, I can still breakdown without warning, but it's getting less and less, and I am genuinely feeling more content with what I have right now.
I wonder what life will be like in a years time?
Wouldn't I love to know the answer to that question! I hope we both have our dreams on the way to coming true.
ReplyDeleteI often think that too - and I have to remind myself (a lot - I'm a grump) that it can get AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteFor example, middle of 2003 my dad had just died, I was sick, I was single, I was a f***ing miserable human being. A year later, I was living with Bubba, happy, healthy. A lot can change in a year.
Hi lovely, you have kindly commented on my blog before, and as I am going private I wanted to let you know in case you wanted to join my reader list.
ReplyDeleteIf you would do email me at
em(dot)hart(at)rocketmail(dot)com
and leave me your email address.