Well we have a date for our ivf info evening, and also another appointment with the consultant. So it looks like we are on course to start treatment in September.
So I should be happy right? This is what I've spent the best part of 3 years waiting for, at last a real chance of getting pregnant. But instead I'm terrified. This opens up a whole load of what ifs. And they're what ifs that I have no control over. It also makes me angry, why can't I have a normal pregnancy? Why didn't I get pregnant the first month trying? Why can't I take for granted what millions of others do?
Sunday 17 July 2011
Sunday 3 July 2011
Moving forward
Well, I certainly haven't kept this blog updated!
Since the last update our referral for treatement has been submitted and we are officially on the waiting list! We have been told we will need IVF with ICSI, so the most expensive! But we are very fortunate to get one treatment provided free on the NHS, and if that doesn't work then it will be time to take a long hard look at our future.
I'm hoping that with my age, and the fact that all apears to be "ok" with me, then it will help us. I have managed to get my weight down, and am no longer classed as obese, rather just over weight! I have lost 3 1/2 stones so far, but still have about another 2 to loose. I'm trying to remain focused, but sometimes that's not so easy to do....... Like when you're on cycle 44, and no longer cry when your period starts, rather you just become more bitter. So why the hell should I not eat a whole bar of dairy milk? And I'm talking 500g.....!
But for the most part I try to keep my chocohollic, bitter & twisted side under control. And I am learning to love my life for what it has in it, rather than despising it for what is lacking.
Since the last update our referral for treatement has been submitted and we are officially on the waiting list! We have been told we will need IVF with ICSI, so the most expensive! But we are very fortunate to get one treatment provided free on the NHS, and if that doesn't work then it will be time to take a long hard look at our future.
I'm hoping that with my age, and the fact that all apears to be "ok" with me, then it will help us. I have managed to get my weight down, and am no longer classed as obese, rather just over weight! I have lost 3 1/2 stones so far, but still have about another 2 to loose. I'm trying to remain focused, but sometimes that's not so easy to do....... Like when you're on cycle 44, and no longer cry when your period starts, rather you just become more bitter. So why the hell should I not eat a whole bar of dairy milk? And I'm talking 500g.....!
But for the most part I try to keep my chocohollic, bitter & twisted side under control. And I am learning to love my life for what it has in it, rather than despising it for what is lacking.
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