Tuesday, Oh Tuesday.

Well, today has been a not so fab day. First off, it's only Tuesday. Second, I just looked in the mirror at 6.30pm & have a huge yellow head on my nose , after spending all day at work-Nice! And thirdly, I am currently 2 days into the period from hell and have almost consumed my body weight in dairy milk (I'm a big bird). Bad times.

But on the upside, the great british bake off is on tonight, and I LOVE that programme. Almost as much as I love Mark Foster.

2 words. Silver. Fox. Too bad he's gay, I'm sure he totes would have fallen in love with me otherwise. Ha!

Anyway, I'm pretty sure there's some digestives in the biscuit tin destined for my tummy.

Jeez, would a lttle positivity kill me?

I've just looked over my past posts, and have to say I'm a little embarassed! They are so moany, and actually everything my personality generally isn't. It seems like I only ever blog when I need to put down my inner thoughts somewhere nobody will see. I suppose this has been my therapy, publishing painful thoughts into cyber space, where nobody offers empty, well meaning advice, because really, no-one knows I'm here! Haha!

Well, we recently celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary, and added another year onto the ttc tally, woop woop! I'm still finding I have days where I'm absolutely broken with the sadness of it all, but generally I'm much happier. We are being very realistic about our chances, and are living our life as we want, rather than putting things off because, you know I could be pregnant in 6 months time (ha!) We even finally decorated the room, that has always been unofficially the "nursery" It is now my office & I love it. I love that it has a purpose rather than a dump room waiting to be something it may never be. Strangely a bit like me :/

I'm still struggling with feeling like I need something to validate my life. But generally find this gets better when I avoid people with children at all costs! Like when talking to my brother in law (who as a side note, is a massive cock.) about a super cheap contact lenses website, he cut in to tell me that since having their kid (who is now 3 1/2) he doesn't have time to wear contacts. No but you have the time to go away with your mates on a bike riding holiday for 4 days! Tosser!

Deep breath! We have finally decided to have another go at treatment, I'm actually crapping my pants,but just want to get going with it now, unfortunately I don't think it will start until after Xmas now, but it will be good to work towards it. Although we are STILL waiting for the old hospital to send our notes, they cashed the cheque 2 weeks ago, but we still haven't received anything. They have another week before I go nuclear on their asses!